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Zero-tripping on the third floor
March 1, 2009


it was part of a movie, the relationship being had between these two girls and this one guy. I wanted one of the girls. I did not know who they were, but somehow i became involved. it happened on my own third floor (but in the dream it wasnt my house, it was whose house?) I asked the girl that i was fooling around with. She was somewhat innocent and I liked that about her. but she loved fooling around and dry humping. It felt familiar, the way she would position herself perfectly on the ground, lying with her legs spread to feel my dick knocking into her ass. I asked her if it was her house or the guy's house. she made noises like it was his. I said, "well why dont we go to your house?" she seemed to be comfortable where she was. someone was downstairs, coming up. I scrambled to put my clothes on, and adjust my backpack on the couch to look like i had not taken anything out of it, that i had just arrived. I suggested she get her clothes on too.

I crossed my legs on the couch as he approached. He was not the guy in the original narrative of whom i was afraid. It was an older blonde guy named Chris, someone I had apparently known from somewhere else. He said "hey steve, how's everything? you wanna zero with us?" There were 4 or 5 of them. .
I had never zeroed before, and as with all drugs i was a little scared. I thought about how relatively new this date of mine was, and how i wouldnt want to get weird and mess it up all of a sudden with some strange state of mind. But then i thought about how well it had already gone, and so surrre. excitedly i told him that i'd never tried it beore. He put the Zero tabs on the table (it was the ping pong table on my third floor) one for me, one for the girl. They were rather large in diameter, about the size of a quarter. They were beigy pink cylindrical tabs. I asked the girl if she wanted to just do a half each, to begin with, since i was uncertain if I could handle an entire pill. We tried to score it in half and then break it, but it crumbled a bit. we managed to each take what amounted to half a pill each, with a glass of water.

Before long, we were feeling strange and good. I had my laptop on and was about to turn it off, when chris said "what would we do without these?" he was referring to the sparkly magic of the electronic interface of the computer and how it catalyzed our trip and gave us nice hallucinations. I said "what?" not quite hearing what he had said, then confirmed it, agreed, and shut off my computer anyway.

At one point we went into one of the rooms offshooting from the main room in my third floor, but this new room was way more spacious than in real life, and was not familiar. the people in it were younger than the girl and I were. they were like the Pietrafitta cousins back in the day. There was a room we played _______ in, with a ball that would bounce back and forth horiztontally with people in it. we played in the dark with neon lights glowing in various places. the point was to keep the ball bouncing and not let it hit you. it was fun for a while but then we moved onto a platform where one kid was playing an electronic drum set. I set my attention on this because i was curious and i wanted to play it myself. The girl, now Ting, was off talking to someone. it was Sean Skulley. I suspected that she liked talking to him because he had pretty eyes and was a nice person. I wondered how much she'd have liked to fuck him if I wasnt there, but i knew she wouldnt while i was there.

the kid on the drum set finished and asked me if i wanted to try it . "yea, definitely" i said and stepped up to what ultimately felt like a workbench of radio shack do-dads. I couldnt figure it out. each drum was like a can of beans or cylinder of quaker oats, covered and grey, but not very loud, and certainly not assembled like a drum set. I could play each individually but not all at once, as a set should be played. I also could not find the hi hat. Ting meanwhile was playing a video game that they were showing her.

Back in the main room, I looked on from the ping pong table as some people were on the couch watching a movie. I got the sense my brother was one of those people. I watched on with them for a second --- The movie had Ben Still in it. It was a trippy movie. He was lying down, his eyes popped more with eyeliner than in real life, and he was doubling. some eyes were appearing below his eyes and above his eyes. maybe it was a double exposure. But then he opened his mouth, and another eye appeared in his mouth. it dissipated as he began to speak to someone. "I wish they'd just give me a zero and get me out of here" he said something to the effect of that.

I looked back at the ping pong table. the other half of my zero was still there. One of the guys, i assume it was the older chris that i knew, although now he looked less blonde. He was now a brunette with curly thinning hair and eyes like Ramarti. He looked at me, half-drained from his drug experience, and asked something that i forget now. recognizing how fucked up he was and unable to relate to him in the answer i gave to his question, i said "maybe i should do the other half of my zero."

I took my other half and went over to one of the beds on the other side of the room to give Ting her half. She was with 3 or 4 other people on the bed, all under one cover, (the old flower print comforter, yellow, white, red) She was leaning against Elliot Wilke, a younger but no less mischevious version of him, and he was leaning against 3 other people on the bed. it's like they had been watching the movie too but fallen asleep. I was a little suspicious of Elliot, but relieved when i nudged Ting and she woke a little and said "what" with her eyes closed. i had stuck out my toe and nudged her thigh with it, through the cover. apprently she'd been fast asleep and had not been harrassed or anything. I felt Elliot's eyes fall on me when i reached out to Ting, and I assumed he was shocked to see me with this girl. (after all, in high school i was not cool and much lesser than elliot)

"do you want to do your other half?" I asked her. But she was too tired to respond. I knew the night was over.