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Running away from Smokers
Jan 24, 2011


it was day at first. i was with karla. we were traveling to alaska together. we were recalling the times we had fought. the time we went to dallas we fought. the time we were on that big ship that seemed very close to the shore, almost leaning into the buildings and swiping them with its side. and somehow the boat's wobbliness or instability seemed to have affected our stability too. i mean, that's why i must have remembered that part. but wwas i remembering or was i viewing? i felt as though I was on sacromonte, on the side of a mountain or cliff looking down at this ship pull out of harbor.

in any case, karla and I were traveling now to alaska, or perhaps we already had and were just recounting it, but we knew or felt confident that we were going to get along. things were better now. but as i was recalling mexico city or perhaps another city we'd been to (dallas?), she had taken off on a skateboard and hurt herself. now i warned her not to do that again.

Her ex boyfriend's name was Lulu. el lulu she would talk about and i would get a little annoyed with that. i knew this lulu guy was important to her. I'm not sure what i was to her anymore.

maybe some stuff happened in between, but now i was with ramarti at a meeting. the boss was Creed that guy from the office, but looking a litle different. maybe a mix of him and Hellraiser. his face was white and his hair was white. white like, painted. he was a cigarette. He smoked and everyone in the room smoked.

I arrived late but at first i was ok with that. There were two famous actors in the room discussing their roles together. I think they must have been in some bromance together, and all the office people were looking at them in awe. they seemed to be pretty chill but I think i may have had a litle annoyance with their cavalier attitudes. It was soon after that when ramarti and others were smoking. actually, it was the boss who was encouraging it. he handed ramarti a smoke and said "you get it, right?" ramarti got it. "you get it, Steve, right? cigarette?" but I smiled and got a glint in my eye and said "no thanks" - and he got pissed. I got up and started walking away. I said there's math in that too. there's math in the probability of getting lung cancer. (I guess the boss was big on math).

the meeting broke up and i think all the smoking people in it were dismayed with me, and fearful that they would gang up on me I started to run away. it was nighttime or a foggy dusk outside the office. I was fairly conficent that they would not be able to catch me since they were all smokers, and in any case i was leaping and bounding as if on the moon.

I ran so far I got lost. I came to a woodsy area overlooking some far away streets. I checked a map that was posted nearby (like a SF muni bus stop). I was having trouble so my mother showed up. She pointed out that the road i was seeing ahead was Helmann, and that I needed to backtrack to get there to take the 31 bus.

I was also supposed to take the train, and when one passed she said "there goes your train"... it was a train going from salem to boston. it was indeed the train i needed to be on, but there would be others. I started back.