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Stacy's Cancer, Pinto Bean-powered Parkour
Feb 24, 2009

last night, stacy told me and her cousin Chris that she had ovarian cancer. She called us into a room, where I think she was lying down. "Stephen, Chris, I need to tell you something." We already knew it was bad, because there was nothing that she would need to tell both of us at the same time were it not something concerning her on a vital level. I stared at her for a long time. Chris was silent too. My eyes flickered a little, so did hers. i was either looking deep into them , or trying to. Here she was in life, and soon enough she would not be here anymore. after a long stare I said something, i forget now what it was. But as she began to explain that her stomach problem was really the ovarian cancer, and that the doctors had gotten it wrong, and that she had had the ovarian cancer for a long time since she was little, and that now it was in an advanced stage, I began to lose hope that she could overcome it. My proposed methods of eating healthy, drinking lots of water, and exercise were pitifully out of measure, and i realized that this was really it. I was sad but I did not weep.

Something else happened in the middle of the night. i forget now.

At the end, I was again moving through space in adventurously bold sweeps, parkouring my way through a scene that resembled Downtown Wakefield, but without the shop signs and store windows. Just blocks. I was perhaps being chased by a vehicle, and i was perhaps on my feet, or a skateboard, or a bike. in any case i was acrobatically bouncing and paranging off of walls and ledges. The last part of my journey brought me to Walton school. I tested the last ledge with my speed and jump capacity, and i managed to land on the wall exactly as i had wanted to. This was going to be fun. What was going to be fun?

Current had given me a project to work on. They handed me a video that when i watched, i sort of became part of. (Real virtual reality type stuff) - I was to score it, or add SFX, or add further video that would include my acrobatic style getaway moves. dont ask me how. The video itself was awesome and inspirational, it was like a 3d moving through the Earth's biosphere to examine all the chemicals and shit that were in the air and on the ground, etc. The one detail i remember from the video was flying over new york and through what looked like a sun shower - sparkly pellets falling through the air from the clouds, illuminated by the sun. This was supposedly "radioactive material" over new york, or so explained the voice in the video. I was surprised to learn this, as well as all the other shit that was going on around the world. To have the full 3d at once was important, to see the problem areas in the world, and their space relation to the others and to the normal healthy parts.

While I was at Walton, Kazue texted me and asked me what i was doing. Something was wrong with my phone so i had to write my text onto a pinto bean wrapper (it was one of my last pinto beans - yes, in this dream, pinto beans being of some special engine power for me were thus wrapped individually in wax paper.) I wrote on the wrapper "Venegas" - but what i really meant to write was "tarea". I realized my mistake and crossed out venegas, rewrote tarea, but then thought "ah to hell with it, i'll talk to her later," and did not send the text.

I arrived home on my skateboard. at the bottom of the driveway, i was finishing a cigarette. I looked up into the window of the sunroom, saw my dad and my mom sitting at the kitchen table. my dad was watching the TV across the counter. it was probably the news. I threw my cigarette and exhaled as much as possible to get it all out, but pretty sure i would smell like cigarettes to them.